Next Episode: The Adventures of Uncle Ben Bernanke and QE3

Well, everyone knows the story. Last week, Uncle Ben Bernanke as an employee of Uncle Lavan opened up the floodgates of money to the entire world. Just call it QE3 (Quantitative Easing 3). The first two attempts at revving the American economy back to life were brought to you by QE1 and QE2. Both attempts failed miserably and made the Chinese very angry. The logic being: We the Chinese are buying all of your National Debt. And each year you are adding a trillion and a half to that debt. So what gives you the right to devalue our investment by printing all that new money? Well, this time duty called again. Italian interest rates last Monday were soaring near 8%. So who do the Europeans call on to water the entire world with money. Why, they call on Uncle Ben Bernanke. And by Wednesday interest rates in Europe had slid to 6.5% for Italian bonds, and many a stupid investor in the stock market had an orgy because Uncle Ben was watering the entire world. Well, it just so happens that in the 2nd Aliyah of VaYeitzei, Ya'akov instantly comes from his night in Beit El to Charan. He had just had visions of angels going up and down on a ladder reaching up to heaven. And boy did that angel of Esav go up so high that Ya'akov feared that he would not come down. but then HaShem starts to speak to him while he is asleep. And HaShem says, "I am HaShem, G-d of Avraham your father and G-d of Yitzchak; The ground upon which you are lying to you will I give it and to your descendants. Your offspring shall be as the dust of the earth, and you shall bust forth westward, eastward, northward, and southward; and all the families of the earth shall bless themselves by you and by your offspring. Behold, I am with you; and I will guard you wherever you go, and I will return you to this soil; For I will not forsake you until I will have done what I have spoken for you." After a series of pasukim recognizing that HaShem had folded up the earth underneath his head so that he could be in Beit El and Yerushalayim at the same time in which he speaks about the awesome dream that he had just had in such a holy place, he makes a vow about how the Third Temple which represents the third Patriarch, Ya'akov would be built there. And that it would be a House of G-d and that he would surely tithe to G-d on his return to Beit El and Yerushalayim.

Immediately Ya'akov arrives in Charan, and this is where it says that he went toward the land of the easterners. Now at that time the Torah was speaking about the Arameans, but from our perspective today, the Torah is obviously speaking about the Chinese. Well, then comes the bombshell. The Torah is breathless explaining the scene that Ya'akov beheld. It speaks in staccato format. He looked and behold....A Well in the Field...and Behold There were Three (that is three not two or four) Edrei Tzon (flocks of sheep) lying right beside it, for from that well they would water the flocks (the sheeple), and the stone on the mouth of the well was large. And all the flocks would be gathered there, and they would roll the stone from upon the mouth of the well and they would water the sheep(le); Then they would return the stone onto the mouth of the well, to its place.

Now 20/20 hindsight is always better than any attempt at predicting. So let us look at what is happening now. Uncle Ben Bernanke had already conducted QE1 and QE2 for all of the United States. This time he has been called to duty to save the entire Civilization that is on the brink of collapse. It is QE3 (as in three flocks of sheep) for the entire planet. At least that is how the brainchilds at the Federal Reserve are seeing it. So it is Uncle Ben's duty to water the entire planet with liquidity, and all the world's sheeple have been awaiting Uncle Ben to roll that rock from over the mouth of that wellspring of infinite resource called the Federal Reserve. Some people might call it a Creature from Jekyll Island, but nonetheless, Uncle Ben is performing his assigned duty at the behest of Uncle Lavan who is too tricky to show his face. So Ben why is your name not Ya'akov. Why is it Ben as in Benjamin? For that stay tuned for tomorrow's edition of "The Continuing Adventures of Uncle Ben Bernanke and QE3!"

For now I leave you with a conversation between Ya'akov and the shepherds who are sitting around waiting for someone to open up the wellsprings and give the world QE3. It is from The Midrash Says which often comes along and fills in the gaps in the written text of the Holy Tanakh (The Hebrew Bible). This is a classic. Think about whom Ya'akov is describing.

Ya'akov wanted to find out more about Lavan and asked, "What type of man is he, and what does he do? Does he live at peace with the citizens of Charan? The shepherds did not understnad the purpose of Ya'akov's inquiries and considered him an idle talker. "If you are interested in making conversation," they answered him, "here is Rachel, his daughter, coming out with the sheep. Ask her, snce women are talkative!"

At this point Ya'akov rebukes the shepherds, "Why do you sit around idly by the well? If you are employed, it is your duty to continue grazing the sheep until dark. If these are your own sheep (speaking about the recipients of QE1, 2, and 3), it is not yet time to gather them for the night! (In short Ya'akov is asking the shepherds why they are being so lazy.) The shepherds explained to Ya'akov that they were waiting for everybody to arrive in order to be able to roll the stone off the well and give water to the sheep. (In short they did not have enough muscle power to open up those wellsprings to water the entire world. They were waiting for someone like Ya'akov to show up and do it for them.) As they were speaking, Rachel appeared with Lavan's sheep......

Now citizens of planet Earth why are you waiting for Ya'akov in the form of Uncle Ben Bernanke to come by and water the entire planet for you? For that answer and for the answer to why is his name Ben and not Jacob or for that matter Alan Greenspan, tune in tomorrow for The Continuing Adventures of Uncle Ben Bernanke and QE3!

I will give you a hint. While Rachel showed up at the beginning of Ya'akov's 20 year stint at Lavan's house, Ben showed up at the end of Rachel's life when she called out the name Ben-Oni. Ya'akov immediately changed Ben's name to Binyamin. Think about where Rachel was then buried, and leave a comment about why it is Ben Bernanke who is watering the the entire planet with Lavan's liquidity. I am interested in the views of thinking people, not all the sheeple who like lemmings believed all the lies last week by pouring their last dollar in savings into the stock market.